Over time in the ministry you have opportunities to meet and know people in various forms of ministry and ancillary fields of endeavor such as Christian entertainment of various levels of notoriety. My beginnings in the ministry afforded me perhaps more opportunities than most in that regard. One of the observations I was forced to make early on in my experience as a Born Again Christian is that no matter how spiritual and humble those of this ilk I met or became acquainted with were, they all had an ego, some larger than others, but they all had an ego. In the first couple of years of my Christian walk (though I now know how silly that was), I was troubled about that, to the point of being somewhat disillusioned and distracted, especially in the case of those who were famous or well-known.
As much as those who are earnestly attempting to emulate the life and nature of Christ endeavor to die to themselves and become of “no reputation” as Jesus did, I think we all pretty much are always going to be saddled with the bane, if you will, that when we get right down to it, we all have an ego. Though I’ve thought about it many times, I really still do not know how to reconcile some things about that. Does having an ego mean that we haven’t died to ourselves yet? Does having an ego mean we have not made ourselves of no reputation as Jesus did? Does God not want us to have an ego at all?
I really don’t know the answer to any of those questions. I’m not even sure any of us mere mortals will ever know the answer to those questions, definitively, as long as we are in these mortal bodies. Basically, I chalk it up to being way beyond my pay grade, and end up dropping it. » Read more